March 19, 2014

WHEN YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR LIFESTYLE

[My moroccan friends just said this could be a Bob Marley's song, but no, it's a true story.]
My parents were able to give me the education I needed to solve many situations in my life. They taught me that If I want to be respected, I gotta respect others. They showed me how important are values and how to live in a society. They gave me freedom... maybe too much freedom.
I have two hometowns: Loulé and Quarteira. Can't choose one. Since I born I lived in both places. In Loule during weekdays, school was there. Quarteira every weekend, holidays and school vacations. This means I travel since ever and are used to move and have tons of friends, everywhere.


In 2007 I finished College but I didn't want to stay in Portugal. I traveled Europe on a InterRail that Summer and I knew that from that moment my life would change. I figured out traveling was my lifestyle. I felt lost, where to go? what to do? For a week I searched on internet many projects and programs overseas until I found this International Learning Exchange called ILEX in the United States of America. It was exactly what I needed: One year, working on my degree as a Social Worker, with a $900 month salary, House and Bills paid. Perfect!

The moment I talked with my parents about this situation was rough. I was leaving home to live in another country and finally get my independence. But how you gonna tell this to closed minded parents? First I talked with my brother, no matter what, even if he doesn't understand my behavior sometimes, he always supports me. But if it was a crazy idea he would tell me straight. He encouraged me to talk with them so here we go!
When I told about the program, as soon as I said it was in USA my dad got excited, he's this kind of dad who thinks that getting good money means a better future and his fave countries for migration are USA or Australia, so he thought that after one year I'd decide to just move there forever. Cool! But my mother was pretty negative about the idea: "This program is fake and you will get kidnapped", "How will you get the money to book the flights and live one month there?", "One year away isn't it too long?"

I understand she was worried, her crazy only daughter was about to leave her nest. It took days of talking about the subject, she was always "no, no, no" until I looked into her eyes and asked if she want my happiness. Obviously she answered "yes" and I said "I'm a bird, let me fly". Since then she changed her mind and supported me but we made a "contract" that I would send her a sms every 2 days saying I'm alive and talk on skype once a week. Deal! I'm pretty bad keeping in touch but I knew mom would drive insane so I did my part the whole year.

Same happened when I told her: "Hey mom, I'm going backpack alone in Asia. Don't worry I heard is safe." She froze for 3 seconds and then she asked me if it was for real and why does she have the craziest daughter in the world? It's hard to understand my lifestyle when we live in a society where you study, find a job and buy a house. This thing doesn't fit in the way I see happiness. But, in the other side you just can't say to another person "you can't do this" when is something that she/he really wanna do! It's like taking someone else freedom to express themselves or simply erase their dreams.

Now a days mom respects my lifestyle of traveling but she doesn't understand. It became so usual that when I say I'm going somewhere she says ok with a smile. Basically, I educated my parents. Dad is still trying to make me move to USA or Australia :)

Everyday of my life I'm thankful for the parents I have, part of me is them. 

9 comments:

  1. Follow Your Dreams & Live With Passion!


    Sometimes people need time, a lot of time but either way, they love you dearly and that is all what matters!

    Btw: Morocco, so you speak French as well? Enchanté alors :-)

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    1. I agree with your words :)
      My french sucks big time, don't tell anyone but I studied for 6 six french in school and can't have a conversation... This is what happens when not praticing a language, you forget. But I know the numbers and some sentences which is not so bad and my partner in crime knows french more or less.

      Alors where do you learn french?

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    2. Good! (if we agree :)

      And I understand about studying and not using a language.. You do not use it - you lose it! I studied German for 8 years and talking? Yeah I switch fast to English, haha.
      Oh, I happen to speak on many languages and I lived long in France (currently travelling). C'est pour ça :p I just thought because of Morocco? Enchanté anyway :-)

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    3. Your are right, they speak french also as a second language. I'm learning arabic words here, I think it's more difficult then french but it's their first language and you should see how pround they look when you say something in arabic :)
      Guess you belong to the world citizens crew? hehe :)

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    4. Oh, my bad, actually I thought they all do .. (People from Morocco in Paris they spoke French.) I see now! And yes when a language is difficult (and they can be difficult in different ways), their people always appreciate it when you are trying to speak on their language! And even a few words.
      And yesss thank you :-) that is why I joined hehe, when I saw under your name "World-Citizen" hehe

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  2. Beautiful! Have fun travelling bird girl! ;)

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  3. I wanna travel the world tooooo, so badly. May have to hit you up for a write-up with detailed trips on that, actually? :D

    Anywho, I'm the youngest kid and the only girl so I feel your pain there. I'm definitely the eccentric one in the family and my parents worry. First I quit school to find work as a writer, actually land a good writing job and quit that to work for myself selling "trash" ;) Going raw vegan...at least our parents love us for our eccentricities anyway. I am often called a crazy daughter, too.

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    1. feels so good when you know this kind of things don't happen just to you, you don't feel so "alone" if you know what I mean! Yep, with boys is so much easier, my parents used to ask me way more questions than my bro. Eg: "What time are you coming back?" "With whom are you going"?

      Sureeeee email me whenever you want, let's travel together :) I can answer any doubts you may have!

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